Having a split parent family is definitely not easy. There’s all sorts of awkwardness and hurt feelings to get through. That said, after a while the hurt feelings start to fade. Things get a tad less awkward, and you can actually keep the peace in your split parent family.
I know, if you’re in the thick of a divorce or separation right now, it can be hard to believe. But it’s so important to do everything you can to stay civil. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
Do you really want your kids to grow up remembering the trash talk you said about their dad? It won’t be easy, but your life will be so much easier once you can let go of the anger and resentment and embrace some peace.
Keeping the Peace in a Split Parent Family
This one can be really hard when your ex is late to pick up the kids, or doesn’t make it to something you thought they would. I get it. You want to protect your babies, but try to have some grace.
Understand that not everything your ex does is done with the intention to hurt you or your kids. He’s a human, just like you are. We all have flaws. We all mess up.
Lean in to the Awkward
It will be awkward. At first, every exchange will be awkward. Every phone call. Every school conference. Let it be awkward, but don’t shy away from awkward situations.
Is it incredibly difficult to tell your ex about your week with the kids when you drop them off with him? Sometimes, yes. Do it anyways.
Let him know if there were any behavior issues or struggles, even if you really don’t want to. Keep communication open, even when it’s hard.
Remember Why You’re Doing This
You have kids watching your every move.
Maybe your kids were just babies during your divorce like mine were, but maybe they’re older. Maybe they can hear every word you say under your breath about your ex. Maybe they can read your body language and tone when you say “your father”. Maybe they’re scared that they’re supposed to pick one of you to love.
Ease their fears. Keep their lives as peaceful as possible in a scary time.
I know you may hate your ex. I know that they may have caused the divorce. I know this probably isn’t the way that you expected your life to go. Unfortunately, this is the way things are, so we have to learn to make the most of it.
Keep these tips in mind, and try to keep the peace for your kids’ sakes, and your own. Trust me, holding onto anger and bitterness doesn’t get you anywhere.
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